Get out and enjoy life. Even if you think you might be lost, keep going, because you never know what might be around the next bend. And above all else, don't play it safe. If there is no risk, there will be no reward. Try something different for once. You never know... you might like it. And if not? Well, at least you know now.

I'm sorry... don't mind me. I just had a brush with death on the way home just now, and it's got my head doing wild gyrations.

You know McDowell Road where it comes through the Buttes? Heading east? I'm talking about when you turn off of Galvin Pkwy/64th St and head towards Phoenix, through that little mountain pass. Where the road is a three-lanes-in-each-direction divided highway.

Okay, so, scene: It's about 11:55 PM. I'm tooling along at around 55 or so (speed limit's 50) in the middle lane, with a car just behind me in the right-hand lane going about the same speed, heading up towards the peak of the pass. I'm probably 15 car-lengths from the top when I notice a glow of headlights that looks like it's on my side of the road. I start to think, "That's odd," but before I can even finish the thought, a white Crown Vic-looking car comes flying over the top of the mountain -- on MY side of the road, heading TOWARDS me, in my lane, at about 80 miles an hour.

Well? No, my life didn't flash before my eyes or anything like that. At least I don't think it did -- I was too busy shitting myself to notice. All I could remember was knowing if I went right, I'd drive right on top of the car behind me, so I hit the brakes and jerked the wheel left then back right so I wouldn't hit the curb on the left-hand side, and hoped like hell that (1) the driver of the deathmobile was traveling in a straight line, so he/she wouldn't hit me or the other car, and (2) that the other car swerved right instead of left. I felt my antilock brakes stuttering, and then, whoosh -- 3 seconds and it was all over. He/she blew right between us.

To tell the truth, I didn't even look in my mirror. My heart felt like it was going to explode. I let off the brakes and slowly crested over the top of the butte. I don't know what went on behind me. I was so terror-stricken that I just sort of coasted all the way down to 52nd Street, where the light was red, and I got a chance to get my bearings back. The other car was gone, so they must have U-turned at Bushmaster (the light at the entrance to the National Guard place) and gone back the other way. There were a few more cars coming over the mountain now, so I figured there must not have been a wreck -- although now I'm wracked with guilt over the fact I should have gone back to make sure nothing happened. I have no idea if the driver finally came to their senses at the light at 64th St, see... they could have just kept right on going down into Scottsdale if they were drunk/high enough (I'm assuming, anyway, that they were impaired in some way). I hadn't noticed anyone in front of me, either, so we might have been the first two cars the driver encountered assuming they got on the wrong side at 52nd St or Bushmaster -- though, again, they could have been cruising down the wrong side of the road for a while. All I can hope is that they realized after they passed me what was going on. I didn't honk my horn or flash my lights, since I was primarily concerned with not flipping my truck over. If I'd had more time to react I probably could have done more, but like I said, I had about 15 car lengths to make my move, somewhere in the neighborhood of 2½ seconds, after they came over the top of the pass.

And, by the way, what does it say about me that the main thing I remember noticing right away was that my Olive Garden take-out box on the dash was undisturbed?

anyway... so I drove home in kind of a fog as the reality that I was damn near roadkill started setting in. I mean, what if I HADN'T been looking straight ahead when it happened? What if I was reaching for a tissue or trying to sneak a chunk of food out of the box? What if I had some music on and was totally jamming out? What if I had been sending a text message? ANYTHING could have delayed my reaction time by a split-second, enough to have not gotten out of the way in time. It's really made me sit here -- it's been almost an hour now -- and think about things. What if I'd died? I was wearing my seat belt and as far as I know, my airbag is operational, but that would have been one powerful collision -- directly head-on, with them going at least 80, maybe faster, and me going 55 or 60. What if the guy next to me or someone else behind me got hit?

I don't know. It makes me want to call my family and let them know I love them, if it weren't 1:00 AM already. It makes me want to tell all of my friends how much I truly appreciate our friendships -- again, it's 1:00 in the morning, though. It makes me want to apologize to Kristy and Michelle for me ruining a perfectly good evening out... we were having fun walking around the Scottsdale Hyatt Regency until I started being all moody because I'm alone, even though obviously that's nothing new for me... but now it seems pretty petty. I'm just happy to be alive and healthy, single or whatever. I'm going to get some sleep, and I'm going to throw myself into putting on this meal tomorrow. Y'alls come hungry, hear?